My Story in Honor of Pink October

Upheld by His Righteous Right Hand

by Leslie Sousa

     It was the beginning of 2020, and I was preparing to go on "The Footsteps of Paul," tour with my church. It was exciting to think I would be standing where the apostle Paul stood in just a matter of weeks! As I laid out my travel clothes, I heard a very distinctive voice; it wasn't audible, but it was clear: "Why are you wasting your time?" He asked. "You aren't going on this trip." I thought if I wasn't going on this trip, surely no one was.

     I had been asked to join the women's ministry team at my church a short time before, and I didn't know many of the ladies that well yet. But as we sat in a circle sharing, I was immediately drawn to one of the ladies in the group. Her name was Jenni. She told us she was going through an arduous trial and my heart went out to her. I thought of my most challenging trial. It was when my husband sat down next to me on our living room sofa and told me he didn't love me anymore. It was 1999, we had two little boys, and he was leaving us for the third time. He filed for divorce. As Jenni came to my mind in the next few weeks, I prayed for her.

     I considered texting her, and then surprisingly, I received a text from her! She told me how much my words had encouraged her, “No matter what happens in your life, don’t ever let your love dim.” I had no idea how much I would need the prayers and encouragement of the other women in this group in just thirty-five days.

     February 3, 2020, was like any other day, except I was rushing back from lunch to attend a doctor's appointment. I received a reminder a few weeks earlier and didn’t waste any time making the mammogram appointment. But, this time, the technician got me in and out so quickly I barely felt it.

     The first call came the following day. The doctor's office wanted me in their office that afternoon. I assumed the technician hadn't gotten clear images. After having a second mammogram, an ultrasound, and three biopsies, I arrived home. My thoughts were racing! Had I heard them correctly? If the three biopsies were cancerous, the other two biopsies wouldn’t be necessary. I kept reminding myself, breast cancer didn't run in my family.

     On February 6, 2020, I woke up early and headed downstairs for my quiet time. I was reading a book called. “My Utmost for His Highest.” As I read, "Are you ready to be poured out as an offering?" God spoke to me, but this time I didn't like what He was saying, "It is an act of your will, not your emotions. Tell God without any complaints, despite what God may send your way. You must be willing to be placed on the altar and go through the fire – burning, purification, and separation for only one purpose – the elimination of every affection not directed toward God. But you don't eliminate it; God does. You 'bind the sacrifice…and see to it that you don't wallow in self-pity once the fire begins. After you have gone through the fire, nothing will be able to trouble you. You will realize that things cannot touch you as they used to. Tell God you are ready to be poured out as an offering, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be."

     I said "No" to the pointed question in the devotional. I already knew when my phone rang that afternoon, and the radiologist and the nurse were on the line.

     "You have cancer," one of them said.

     By Friday, I sat before a team of doctors. They told me I had a very aggressive form of breast cancer. My treatment would include chemotherapy, a mastectomy, and radiation.

     I went up for prayer after church on Sunday and was anointed with oil. There stood Jenni. She hugged me.

     I met with the nurse the following week. When I walked in, I noticed the book, “Jesus Calling” on the shelf above her. At the end of the meeting, she took the book down from the shelf and read that day's devotion to me. Her words deeply comforting me:

     I AM TAKING CARE OF YOU. Every detail of your life is under My control. Everything fits into a pattern for good to those who love Me. Events may seem to occur randomly. Beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you could only see how close I am to you, how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never doubt that I am caring for you. This is why you must live by faith, not by sight, trusting in My majestic Presence.

     The next day, I went downstairs with a trusted co-worker to get something to eat. The restaurant we wanted to go to was packed, so my co-worker suggested we cross the street and go to a less crowded restaurant. But knowing how much she loved what we had come to call the “Leslie Bowl,” I insisted we stay. My friend pointed out two empty chairs and a table in the front of the restaurant on a barely enclosed sidewalk. It was better than nothing.

     As we waited for our food, I started sharing my deepest fears with my friend. I was scared, and trying to figure out how on earth I was going to make it through the next year of treatments when we noticed a disheveled homeless man shuffling towards us. I hate to admit this, but we quickly checked the position of our purses. He looked like he hadn’t bathed for weeks. I wondered if he was hungry. He didn't stop until he was right in front of me. "Jesus is with you," he simply said and walked on. I sat there stunned. Had he just said what I thought he said? "Yes, he did." My friend confirmed. It gave us chills. “Did we just entertain an angel?” I asked.

     Immense joy came over me as I felt a gentle nudge telling me to give my Footsteps of Paul trip away. I contacted the travel agency, and was told I could gift my trip. The agent prayed for me to find the perfect person to take my place. I asked my pastor's wife if she knew anyone who would like to go on the trip in my place. "Of course!" I thought when she said Jenni’s name. She was the one who was supposed to go on this trip! The pastor’s wife encouraged me to call Jenni, but my sister caught me first. Surprisingly my sister asked me who one of the leaders in the women's ministry group was. It was Jenni she was asking about! "I had the weirdest thing happen last night," she said. "I couldn't fall asleep because I kept thinking about Jenni. She was hesitant about something, but I kept seeing her overseas. She was super happy, and so were you." My sister's words brought confirmation, as she knew nothing about me giving my trip away.

     I excitedly filled her in. Sure enough, just like my sister said, Jenni would not accept the gift. She shared that she had just renewed her passport. I asked her to pray about accepting the trip. We agreed she would call me back after careful consideration. When she declined the gift a second time, I asked her, "Why did you renew your passport?" She said she wasn't sure. "I know why! Because you are going to Greece, Turkey, and Rome!" She agreed to accept the trip!

      I started my chemotherapy on March 2, 2020. I began asking God to help me find ways to bless others from home. One day I saw a new neighbor pushing her mom in a wheelchair down the street. I ran out and gave her a copy of a book I had written in 2018. I saw her weeks later when I was feeling down and out walking. From her upstairs window, she called, "Hey, are you the lady who gave me the book? I've been reading it to my mother. It's beautiful." My heart lifted. God was using me.

     On July 17, 2020, I was told I am cancer-free. As I was sitting on my porch, something dawned on me. I realized God's sovereignty at that very moment. My cancer was fast-growing. I had been feeling great. All the professionals said I would never have discovered my cancer on my own. If I hadn't received that card and gone in right away, there was a good chance I wouldn't have gotten an appointment. I learned they were canceling all mammograms soon after because of COVID-19.

     Nobody but God could have orchestrated these events.